20130109

It's another year...

The past year, has a been tough. And it's still tough. And I am battling the hugest conflict in my life. I don't blame anyone else, perhaps a little, but mainly it's my fault. Looking back at my past, at my behavior, at my attitude, something like this was bound to happen. I'm not surprised at all.

Never in a million years, I thought this would happen to me. But they always say, never say never. I have always, always been one who sees the cup half full, at least I try to. But as of late, its getting harder and harder to do. 

Benar, segala apa yang terjadi ada hikmahNya. Mana yang baik datang dariNya, mana yang buruk,  dari kita sendiri. Everyone has their own problems and issues, it's how we face it, it's how we view things, it's our own mindset. But it's so hard to keep a positive mindset and it's tiring. What makes things more complicated is that now, I have to think about my son as well. So tak boleh nak selfish dengan masalah sendiri. But hey, I guess that's life. It's not only about yourself, but the people around you as well. 

However, to make others happy, we have to make ourselves happy first. Right? Or do we make others happy first, to make ourselves happy? I guess it's a two way game. Ini masalahnya bila kita terlalu bergantung pada orang lain untuk bahagia. We begin to expect rather than to accept. And when things don't go as planned, everything goes down. Our hopes, our motivation, our confidence, our happiness. 

Hidup di dunia ni sangat mencabar. It's so easy to get lost. Walaupun kita tau ia sementara, kita masih lalai, sibuk dengan dunia, forgetting that it's gonna end, and we've wasted it being sad, being troubled, when we should really be preparing ourselves for our permanent life in the hereafter. {ANNA}



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