I have a saying.. "When you start giving up, you start falling down." This I learned the hard way. Because of giving up, I have a huge load of regret weighing on my back. No matter how hard I try to forget, or perk myself up, these regrets continue to haunt me.
Please don't ever give up. The feeling of relief is only temporary. Yelah, kita duk serabut sangat, rasa macam arghh aku dah malas, tak larat, tak mampu, etc, so perasaan untuk melarikan diri, untuk lepas tangan tu sangat kuat, sebab rasa cam malas nak pikir, lagi senang kalau putus asa, sebab dah takda kuasa nak ber'asa' lagi dah.
Then once dah let go, wahh rasa lega. But then, it will get back at you. Like a boomerang that hits you right where it hurts most. Lepas tu mulalah, rasa down, rasa diri tak guna, sia-sia, menyesal tak sudah, lalu mempersoalkan 'apesal aku tak teruskan aja..' or the big question of 'what if..'.
So, if you ever feel like giving up.. just don't. In my case, I'm talking about my studies. Every single semester rasa nak quit. But I keep holding on no matter how weak I feel, or how stressed I am. Because I know that it is for the best, and to let go would be the biggest mistake ever. And I'm not getting any younger.
Tapi, kalau nak give up benda macam merokok ka, nak berhenti mengumpat ka, tu lain cerita la. Apa cheritamu? (keh keh keh, sapa yang dah tengok mesti paham).
Anyway, got my results this semester. It was well, not the best, but I'm thankful enough, based on what I worked on. CGPA sikit lagi nak tergelincir bawah 3.0. Yeeks, seriously gotta pump it up this semester. Kasik naik balik. I don't wanna give up, instead I want to go up, up, and awaaaaaay.