Dah lama aku tak berblog. Perangai lama dah serang kembali. Nampak gayanya aku mungkin tak dapat nak maintain GPA seperti sem pertama aku. Haih. Kecewa dengan diri sendiri. Minggu depan minggu terakhir kelas, kemudian study week, lepas tu ekjem.
I have a few assignments for different subjects that are pass due. I've already met up with one of the lecturers and brought up my issues. I thought after letting it out, I'd be motivated and can work things out. But nope, it's remaining stagnant. I'd really wanna get 3.5 above, but, seems unlikely at this rate. I don't know if I can even score above 3.0. Yeeks.
Trying my best to be positive, calm, and be focused. Being focused, is the hardest to do. I think I put too much unnecessary stress on myself. Worried about the future, the past, when instead I should be dealing with the now. This is only my second semester. I know it's not too late, but.. at this point I'm just really really disappointed for not being consistent, especially my first semester was great. It should have motivated me enough to keep it up.
I've been blaming the external factors for my deterioration this semester. One holiday after another. It kind of stumps my momentum. Makes me lazy when I've too many breaks in between. The previous semester it was all crazy and in a rush since it was only a short semester. Now, thinking I've a longer time, I tend to drag things to the very last minute, then I panic, lose focus, and end up being lost.
Remember my 'Forced to read' entry? The presentation is tomorrow. And I've done nothing. I doubt that I'll be able to prepare something in time. Sigh.. that entry was weeks ago, more than enough time to get it done. I'm really sick of this attitude of mine. Hmmfftth. Here's a little something I wrote during my moment of self disgust.
"Life. This road is a slippery one. I keep on slipping off it. It hurts each time I fall. I bleed, I bruise, I heal, I've scars. But I never really do learn from it. I need better soles to have a better grip because one day I just might slip, fall down, bump my head, and never get up again."
With that, I shall end this post. I've actually have a number of entries drafted that I've been wanting to post. But I will have to put those on hold till the end of this semester. It just doesn't feel right to be writing in my blog when I should be doing my assignments instead. Err.. just like what I'm doing now. Oh the guilt! Hehe. So uh okay bye.